empathy, assistance, and real students.

So I sit here in the library, furiously pounding on my sweatshop-produced laptop (5 essays due tomorrow), and in the midst of transferring some of the greatest literature to ever grace the Chinese language to the computer screen in front of me, my stomach lets out a huge fucking rumble.

It was the homewrecker of rumbles, the heavyweight of gut growls, and the slap-you-in-the-face-with-my-cock (metaphorically) of..slaps with body parts. It was a demon that thundered to be loosed in an angry stream of hot scorching gas, that raged against its visceral confines, that demanded to be let free to walk upon the earth and wreak havoc upon the olfactory sensibilities of my nearby library patrons. It was the equivalent of King Kong pounding his massive chest, roaring to the skies. It was Beethoven on his deathbed, raising his fist to heaven. It was the Trojan Horse armed to the teeth with rocket launchers. It was over 9000.

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Three more essays to go.

This past weekend, I went to a crossings party with Annie. It's the first time I've been out in a long time, and only the second time we've been to a party together (we actually ran into each other at the same frat before we started dating. Reminds me of my dad-meets-mom story. Details to follow).

It was good fun. I like hanging out with her sisters, and I think I get along fairly well with them. I ended up eating Cool Whip out of the tub with one of them. Delish.

Annie said I dance like a girl. I think she's just jealous of my booty gyrations and hip undulations. I can give strippers and professional go-go dancers a run for their money.

So I guess I have a backup plan. If I ever fail at life..Chippendale's is only a call away.