So my parents aren't too happy about me using profanity in my Taiwan blog. My dad even sent me an email about it, to which I replied "What's so bad about these "bad" words anyways?"
To which he replied a long email which didn't quite answer the question..but anyways.
I feel like alot of the time, we're just being dragged around by society's expectations/customs that when you think about them, don't really have any rational reason behind them. Such as the taboo on four-letter words.
Why are these words "bad"? They express everyday activities/objects. Vaginas, bowel movements, having sex. These words aren't bad by nature--it's because society represses these things that they make words that don't describe them in either artistic or scientific terms taboo.
I'm not arguing for racial slurs--these words have a derogatory history behind them, with intent to insult/harm/degrade/oppress.
But what the fuck, shitting and cunts are everywhere.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
update!
I finally finished work for the summer. Five weeks of being an RA and doing grunt work for the scientists. Even though I worked for less time this year, I feel like I accomplished just as much, maybe even more. And I find myself missing the lab. I think I've come to love the structure and the daily routine, and my little cubicle.
But anyways.
I ship off to Taiwan next week for three weeks of discovering-my-roots and other fun activities. Blehhh. I think I'll be blogging everyday on a sister blog I've created especially for the trip:
---
So what have I been up to lately? Reading and examining my faith/religion/all religion with a more critical eye.
I read Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great; How Religion Poisons Everything. Not only is his style of writing engaging, witty, and just fucking awesome, he makes excellent arguments against all religions. I loved the book, and I feel that it gave me a more critical and careful way to scrutinize my faith and what I believe in.
Recently, I heard about a lawsuit being filed against a church. Based on what I heard, there seems to be a point in time when smart people started drinking the Kool-Aid of blind faith and gave up their rationality. (Which, if you think about it, isn't that a crime against God? If God or whoever is out there gave you this awesome tool of reasoning and rational thought, and you just throw it away...then two questions arise. A)what's the point of having reasoning and b) is a god who gives you a gift then demands you throw it away to believe in him whole-heartedly really worth following?)
But anways. Here's a question:
If you were to hypothetically design a building (let's add that you're a Christian, which actually should have no bearing whatsoever on your decision anyways, but let's stick with it), who would you choose:
a) Christian architect with no credentials/qualifications at all (so I suppose you could say "being Christian" is the only qualification)
But anyways.
I ship off to Taiwan next week for three weeks of discovering-my-roots and other fun activities. Blehhh. I think I'll be blogging everyday on a sister blog I've created especially for the trip:
---
So what have I been up to lately? Reading and examining my faith/religion/all religion with a more critical eye.
I read Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great; How Religion Poisons Everything. Not only is his style of writing engaging, witty, and just fucking awesome, he makes excellent arguments against all religions. I loved the book, and I feel that it gave me a more critical and careful way to scrutinize my faith and what I believe in.
Recently, I heard about a lawsuit being filed against a church. Based on what I heard, there seems to be a point in time when smart people started drinking the Kool-Aid of blind faith and gave up their rationality. (Which, if you think about it, isn't that a crime against God? If God or whoever is out there gave you this awesome tool of reasoning and rational thought, and you just throw it away...then two questions arise. A)what's the point of having reasoning and b) is a god who gives you a gift then demands you throw it away to believe in him whole-heartedly really worth following?)
But anways. Here's a question:
If you were to hypothetically design a building (let's add that you're a Christian, which actually should have no bearing whatsoever on your decision anyways, but let's stick with it), who would you choose:
a) Christian architect with no credentials/qualifications at all (so I suppose you could say "being Christian" is the only qualification)
or
b) non-Christian architect who's built many other edifices, has references, a portfolio.
The choice should be clear, unless you are of an abnormally low IQ (which apparently is a communicable disease spread by religious favoritism). You choose the qualified non-Christian who knows to how design a building.
---
A key aspect of what one might call the Christian experience is prayer. It allows you to communicate with him, and as a I recently learned (and this actually makes sense) it allows you to demand of God what he promised. Prayer is supposed to be a part of everyday life and you should pray about everything and make sure whatever you do, God is okay with it. Or if you're unsure, ask him via prayer. Etc.
So yes, very good. Prayer. It's story time, kids. Gather 'round.
A church wanted to build a new church buildling. As you would expect, the elders of the church would definitely pray for great amounts of time to ascertain God's will before going forth with building plans. It would be the Christian thing to do. And of course, they got the answer "Go forth and build me a huge fucking church building."
And so the elders commissioned architects and designers to build. And a church building was erected, greater and bigger than before.
And when the first storms came, the roofing leaked and the cafeteria flooded. But it must have been God's will for this to happen.
And a year later, the church was sued by one of the architects initially approached to do the design work. Come, let's say it together: "but it must have been God's will for this to happen."
Moral of the story, kids:
No. It wasn't God's will for this to happen.
It was human stupidity and lack of rational decision making. It was shoddy human construction.
Anything people construe as divine will is always after the fact. Hindsight bias, anyone?
I don't mean this post to be criticizing or hateful, or derogatory towards anyone. I just feel that when we give up reason in favor of faith, it's stupid.
Not to say that reason and faith can't go hand in hand. But that's a post for later.
The choice should be clear, unless you are of an abnormally low IQ (which apparently is a communicable disease spread by religious favoritism). You choose the qualified non-Christian who knows to how design a building.
---
A key aspect of what one might call the Christian experience is prayer. It allows you to communicate with him, and as a I recently learned (and this actually makes sense) it allows you to demand of God what he promised. Prayer is supposed to be a part of everyday life and you should pray about everything and make sure whatever you do, God is okay with it. Or if you're unsure, ask him via prayer. Etc.
So yes, very good. Prayer. It's story time, kids. Gather 'round.
A church wanted to build a new church buildling. As you would expect, the elders of the church would definitely pray for great amounts of time to ascertain God's will before going forth with building plans. It would be the Christian thing to do. And of course, they got the answer "Go forth and build me a huge fucking church building."
And so the elders commissioned architects and designers to build. And a church building was erected, greater and bigger than before.
And when the first storms came, the roofing leaked and the cafeteria flooded. But it must have been God's will for this to happen.
And a year later, the church was sued by one of the architects initially approached to do the design work. Come, let's say it together: "but it must have been God's will for this to happen."
Moral of the story, kids:
No. It wasn't God's will for this to happen.
It was human stupidity and lack of rational decision making. It was shoddy human construction.
Anything people construe as divine will is always after the fact. Hindsight bias, anyone?
I don't mean this post to be criticizing or hateful, or derogatory towards anyone. I just feel that when we give up reason in favor of faith, it's stupid.
Not to say that reason and faith can't go hand in hand. But that's a post for later.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Ambition
If a man holds no ambition, he suffers unknowingly.
If a man holds ambitions, he suffers knowingly, but very slowly.
If a man holds ambitions, he suffers knowingly, but very slowly.
Friday, May 21, 2010
end of finals
In about 12 hours, I will be officially done with sophomore year. It's been a rocky road, and I've come to realize that except for brief moments of time, I'm mostly miserable at this great institution of knowledge. Very few things at this place make me happy. But at the same time, I've learned alot.
Things I've done/learned/experienced this year:
1) Been awesome.
2) Met someone awesome :)
3) Went ice skating.
4) Booty-gyrated.
5) Went to Filthy Gorgeous.
6) Got into Operation DEEP, and am going to Tibet this summer!
7) Worked at an elementary school and loved the kindergartners.
8) Decided to never teach kindergarten (if I become a teacher.)
9) Been awesome.
10) Went to a hip-hop showcase.
11) Came to know a bunch of really fun people I normally would never have hung out with.
12) Being a hipster is fun.
13) Being a drunk hipster and losing your accessories (which, by the way, are borrowed) is not as fun.
14) Waking Life is one freaky film. Mind-blowing (especially if you're on illegal substances) but..freaky.
15) Went to a marching band party.
16) Threw a glass bottle into the gorge and then ran because I thought the cops were coming.
17) I am addicted to BJJ/grappling.
18) Question everything, and think beyond limits set by tradition/upbringing/religion.
19) I hate social psychology.
20) Psychology has taken over my life (I find myself constantly questioning if I'm committing ____ bias/fallacy/error. I can't even take a piss without wondering about social facilitation. It sucks.)
21) Confidence is sexy.
22) Stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
23) The normless thesis-- bad is the norm, good is the exception.
24) I hate Cornell.
25) Some people at Cornell are fucking stupid.
26) Learned to rap. In Chinese.
27) Got a 69 on my Chinese final.
28) I'm awesome.
29) White pants.
30) I have some kind of attention deficit disorder.
31) I hate my laptop.
32) If your penis says one thing and your brain says another...listen to your brain. Sometimes.
33) Friends don't let drunk friends throw butterfly knives.
34) Cried.
35) Went to a bar.
36) Actually made friends in one of my classes (gasp.)
37) Signed a lease for an apartment next semester.
38) Got hit in the testicles.
39) Went to a formal.
40) Learned just how awesome Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Yugioh Abridged, and The Emperor's New Groove is.
41) I have arthritic symptoms in my left knee.
42) Apologized profusely.
43) Assaulted someone.
44) Pooped. Furiously.
45) Picked up bad habits.
46) Lost good habits.
47) Apple bong.
48) O'd.
49) Chinese doctors routinely harvest organs from prisoners and Falun Gong practitioners without consent.
50) Bubble tea is delicious.
51) Too much BJJ = neck gets too thick = cannot button collar on dress shirt
52) Got ripped.
53) Got fat.
54) Salvia.
55) I hate doing psychology research.
56) Math professor with ridiculously thick accent.
57) Lived on a rotisserie chicken for four days.
58) Been awesome.
59) Had sushi.
...to be continued.
Things I've done/learned/experienced this year:
1) Been awesome.
2) Met someone awesome :)
3) Went ice skating.
4) Booty-gyrated.
5) Went to Filthy Gorgeous.
6) Got into Operation DEEP, and am going to Tibet this summer!
7) Worked at an elementary school and loved the kindergartners.
8) Decided to never teach kindergarten (if I become a teacher.)
9) Been awesome.
10) Went to a hip-hop showcase.
11) Came to know a bunch of really fun people I normally would never have hung out with.
12) Being a hipster is fun.
13) Being a drunk hipster and losing your accessories (which, by the way, are borrowed) is not as fun.
14) Waking Life is one freaky film. Mind-blowing (especially if you're on illegal substances) but..freaky.
15) Went to a marching band party.
16) Threw a glass bottle into the gorge and then ran because I thought the cops were coming.
17) I am addicted to BJJ/grappling.
18) Question everything, and think beyond limits set by tradition/upbringing/religion.
19) I hate social psychology.
20) Psychology has taken over my life (I find myself constantly questioning if I'm committing ____ bias/fallacy/error. I can't even take a piss without wondering about social facilitation. It sucks.)
21) Confidence is sexy.
22) Stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
23) The normless thesis-- bad is the norm, good is the exception.
24) I hate Cornell.
25) Some people at Cornell are fucking stupid.
26) Learned to rap. In Chinese.
27) Got a 69 on my Chinese final.
28) I'm awesome.
29) White pants.
30) I have some kind of attention deficit disorder.
31) I hate my laptop.
32) If your penis says one thing and your brain says another...listen to your brain. Sometimes.
33) Friends don't let drunk friends throw butterfly knives.
34) Cried.
35) Went to a bar.
36) Actually made friends in one of my classes (gasp.)
37) Signed a lease for an apartment next semester.
38) Got hit in the testicles.
39) Went to a formal.
40) Learned just how awesome Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Yugioh Abridged, and The Emperor's New Groove is.
41) I have arthritic symptoms in my left knee.
42) Apologized profusely.
43) Assaulted someone.
44) Pooped. Furiously.
45) Picked up bad habits.
46) Lost good habits.
47) Apple bong.
48) O'd.
49) Chinese doctors routinely harvest organs from prisoners and Falun Gong practitioners without consent.
50) Bubble tea is delicious.
51) Too much BJJ = neck gets too thick = cannot button collar on dress shirt
52) Got ripped.
53) Got fat.
54) Salvia.
55) I hate doing psychology research.
56) Math professor with ridiculously thick accent.
57) Lived on a rotisserie chicken for four days.
58) Been awesome.
59) Had sushi.
...to be continued.
Friday, May 14, 2010
summer.
I'm avoiding studying so...here's my summer plans!
May- Get out of school, get my shit unpacked at home, maybe go to Six Flags?
June- My dad wants to send me to visit Taiwan for a bit. Maybe see the World Expo in Shanghai?
July- If I do go to Taiwan/Shanghai/Beijing, go directly to Chengdu --> Tibet right after?
August- Come back from Tibet, go to school right after.
So I'm going to be teaching English in Tibet! Pretty exciting :)
May- Get out of school, get my shit unpacked at home, maybe go to Six Flags?
June- My dad wants to send me to visit Taiwan for a bit. Maybe see the World Expo in Shanghai?
July- If I do go to Taiwan/Shanghai/Beijing, go directly to Chengdu --> Tibet right after?
August- Come back from Tibet, go to school right after.
So I'm going to be teaching English in Tibet! Pretty exciting :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
don't plan the plan if you can't follow through
For some reason, it seems like everyone I know has been having some sort of relationship trouble. My friend is in what seems to be a really one sided relationship. Talking to her today, it seemed like she was being supportive in every way for her boyfriend, but when it was time for him to be supportive of her, he bailed.
Even as I talked to her today and tried to give advice, I'll admit that inside, I gave a sigh of relief that my relationship didn't have any of these troubles. We're the best couple. We don't have fights.
And the irony of it is that not 30 minutes later, we had a spat. Over almost the same issue. Humbling.
I always thought that I was a good, supportive boyfriend. But today Annie made me realize that while I might be supportive for some things, I'm not good enough at being considerate or supportive for other, more important issues. Being at her sorority events or dance performances isn't enough. What I need to do is be better at comforting her, be more appreciative of when she comforts me, and I need to show her that I really do want to spend time with her. That whenever I'm with her I feel so..fulfilled when I'm with her, and that I want to be as fulfilling for her. That during the day, when I'm not with her, I feel a little emptier, and not nearly as happy. That even though I mess up so often, I really do care about her and that I want to make her as happy as she makes me.
But actions speak louder than words, and I guess there's been a lack of action on my part.
I promised her that I'd try to be more considerate and supportive, that we'll do more things she wants to do, and that I'll be more enthusiastic and eager for her.
But trying is useless. Only doing counts.
Wanted: Depth of constitution to do as I say and say what I mean.
Even as I talked to her today and tried to give advice, I'll admit that inside, I gave a sigh of relief that my relationship didn't have any of these troubles. We're the best couple. We don't have fights.
And the irony of it is that not 30 minutes later, we had a spat. Over almost the same issue. Humbling.
I always thought that I was a good, supportive boyfriend. But today Annie made me realize that while I might be supportive for some things, I'm not good enough at being considerate or supportive for other, more important issues. Being at her sorority events or dance performances isn't enough. What I need to do is be better at comforting her, be more appreciative of when she comforts me, and I need to show her that I really do want to spend time with her. That whenever I'm with her I feel so..fulfilled when I'm with her, and that I want to be as fulfilling for her. That during the day, when I'm not with her, I feel a little emptier, and not nearly as happy. That even though I mess up so often, I really do care about her and that I want to make her as happy as she makes me.
But actions speak louder than words, and I guess there's been a lack of action on my part.
I promised her that I'd try to be more considerate and supportive, that we'll do more things she wants to do, and that I'll be more enthusiastic and eager for her.
But trying is useless. Only doing counts.
Wanted: Depth of constitution to do as I say and say what I mean.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
RAWR.
She laughed as she trained the barrel of her pistol at me. I quickly pulled the trigger on my own pistol, but was greeted by only the dry click-click of an empty gun. A moment later, I felt the impact of her own shot smack me in the chest, rocking me and making my head spin. Shit.
Fuck it. I pistol whipped her across the face, with a loud crack that sent her reeling backwards. "Wha..what.." she sputtered. "You can't do that.."
"YOU ARE A POOR FIGHTER," I replied. I quickly jumped guard, wrapping my legs around her waist and cranking downwards on her neck with both hands. She collapsed, and I torqued my hips, sweeping her sideways and ending up in mount.
I swung out hard and punched her in the face a few times, feeling the shock of fist colliding into flesh and bone all the way up my arms. She covered her face with her arms, hoping to lessen the blows. Mistake.
I grabbed her arm and pivoted quickly into an armbar. She screamed as I hyperextended her arm.
And then Annie woke me up.
Fuck it. I pistol whipped her across the face, with a loud crack that sent her reeling backwards. "Wha..what.." she sputtered. "You can't do that.."
"YOU ARE A POOR FIGHTER," I replied. I quickly jumped guard, wrapping my legs around her waist and cranking downwards on her neck with both hands. She collapsed, and I torqued my hips, sweeping her sideways and ending up in mount.
I swung out hard and punched her in the face a few times, feeling the shock of fist colliding into flesh and bone all the way up my arms. She covered her face with her arms, hoping to lessen the blows. Mistake.
I grabbed her arm and pivoted quickly into an armbar. She screamed as I hyperextended her arm.
And then Annie woke me up.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
my friday night.
So after an awesome BJJ practice session (I downed a Red Bull beforehand. It didn't give me wings but it gave me some fucking awesome stamina.), I picked up a bottle of gin and Kahlua from my grad student friend and headed to Collegetown to get some lemon juice, tonic water, and milk. Then I headed home and took a shower. Because of my super intense workout, there was nothing in my stomach. Here is where logic and laziness/frugality come into conflict:
Nothing in stomach = bad time when drinking.
Something in stomach = have to go outside and buy food.
Solution? EAT REESE'S PIECES. Because they are definitely filling.
So yeah. Headed out to my coworker's house party with my kickass girlfriend who talks in her sleep (she like yelled out "HEY" two nights ago.) We got there around 11, and started partying it up. We played this game called "smack that" which involves drinking, backhanding ho's, and getting money. Great fun was had by all. Except I kind of sucked, and Annie kind of kicked my ass 36 different ways. So yeah, great fun was had by all :D
I don't really remember to well what happened after that, but I recall meeting Sandie and co. at CTB, then heading to my room for more drinks. And then waking up the next morning, extremely hungover..
Annie filled me in on the embarrassing details later.
Fucking Reese's Pieces.
--
In recent news, there's been a few sexual assault things going on at school. It's pretty disgusting what men can sink to. It's more disgusting that the perpetrators probably aren't townies or vagrants--they're probably Cornell students.
Fuckers.
Nothing in stomach = bad time when drinking.
Something in stomach = have to go outside and buy food.
Solution? EAT REESE'S PIECES. Because they are definitely filling.
So yeah. Headed out to my coworker's house party with my kickass girlfriend who talks in her sleep (she like yelled out "HEY" two nights ago.) We got there around 11, and started partying it up. We played this game called "smack that" which involves drinking, backhanding ho's, and getting money. Great fun was had by all. Except I kind of sucked, and Annie kind of kicked my ass 36 different ways. So yeah, great fun was had by all :D
I don't really remember to well what happened after that, but I recall meeting Sandie and co. at CTB, then heading to my room for more drinks. And then waking up the next morning, extremely hungover..
Annie filled me in on the embarrassing details later.
Fucking Reese's Pieces.
--
In recent news, there's been a few sexual assault things going on at school. It's pretty disgusting what men can sink to. It's more disgusting that the perpetrators probably aren't townies or vagrants--they're probably Cornell students.
Fuckers.
Monday, April 19, 2010
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
e.e. cummings
Why do I seem to have the perfect knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? It seems that just when everything is going perfect, when you've had the greatest weekend in a long time, I manage to fuck it in the face with just a few words.
And I'm sorry for it. I guess I'm just not mature enough.
e.e. cummings
Why do I seem to have the perfect knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? It seems that just when everything is going perfect, when you've had the greatest weekend in a long time, I manage to fuck it in the face with just a few words.
And I'm sorry for it. I guess I'm just not mature enough.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
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