So it became 2011 without much hoo-rah here in Peoria (at least my slice of it.) Everyone had a very low key sort of NYE. The only celebration I had was a glass of Baileys on the rocks.
Anyways, thinking of migrating to Tumblr (@ thejoshliu.tumblr.com)
Let's get down to business, though.
New Year's Resolutions:
0. Spend less/be more economical with my expenses.
1. Don't get frustrated/pissy as easily or much. I need to work on anger management.
2. Be more proactive about my future (internships, grad programs, GREs, etc.)
3. Be more organized (use calendars/notepads) and use Leechblock not just during finals.
4. Go to BJJ more, train harder, win. Stop smoking.
5. Drink less.
6. Spend more time with friends.
7. Be a more reliable significant other.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
jesus had two dads, and he turned out fine.
So, this is my second week in Peoria.
It's been pretty okay so far. I'm waking up early, looking at grad programs/doing GRE prep/looking at internships, eating more vegetables, and working out. Oh, and going to church. Yay for being in the Bible belt of the US.
Funny thing happened.
As some of you might know (I grandly address my large and diverse audience of readers. They say delusions of grandeur is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia), I can be an emotionless and rarely do I ever get my panties up in a bunch about pop culture, literature (see "Harry Potter"), etc.
However, I've been intensely reading this webcomic called Questionable Content for the past two days (1826 strips..woo..)At first, I think I was mostly attracted because it was about music nerds and hot indie chicks, but I actually really got involved in the whole plot, drama, and love story. I think I even grew ovaries.
But yeah, the main character just broke up with his girlfriend and it saddened me considerably.
I think this, coupled with anxiety from looking at internship apps that require recommendations from professors, got me in a really weird and depressed mood today.
Tomorrow will be better. The sad sack of potatoes will become an upbeat pile of artery-clogging French fries :)
It's been pretty okay so far. I'm waking up early, looking at grad programs/doing GRE prep/looking at internships, eating more vegetables, and working out. Oh, and going to church. Yay for being in the Bible belt of the US.
Funny thing happened.
As some of you might know (I grandly address my large and diverse audience of readers. They say delusions of grandeur is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia), I can be an emotionless and rarely do I ever get my panties up in a bunch about pop culture, literature (see "Harry Potter"), etc.
However, I've been intensely reading this webcomic called Questionable Content for the past two days (1826 strips..woo..)At first, I think I was mostly attracted because it was about music nerds and hot indie chicks, but I actually really got involved in the whole plot, drama, and love story. I think I even grew ovaries.
But yeah, the main character just broke up with his girlfriend and it saddened me considerably.
I think this, coupled with anxiety from looking at internship apps that require recommendations from professors, got me in a really weird and depressed mood today.
Tomorrow will be better. The sad sack of potatoes will become an upbeat pile of artery-clogging French fries :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
looking back
So, done with fall semester of junior year. One more milestone on the road to graduation and real life. Scary.
I managed to pull of almost a 4.0 this semester.
But looking back, I realize (late as it is) there is so much more than just good grades. I threw away my social life and almost a friendship because of this self-absorbed, single-minded drive.
Sure, it feels good to look at my GPA, but I'm not sure it was worth it.
I managed to pull of almost a 4.0 this semester.
But looking back, I realize (late as it is) there is so much more than just good grades. I threw away my social life and almost a friendship because of this self-absorbed, single-minded drive.
Sure, it feels good to look at my GPA, but I'm not sure it was worth it.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
real talk.
God helps those who help themselves.
"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here (points to head) and here (points to heart) and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not."
he turned away from the woman that had once given him birth
and crying out to the sky cause he was lonely and scared
but only the devil responded, cause God wasn't there
and right then he knew what it was to be empty and cold
and so he jumped off the roof and died with no soul
they say death take you to a better place but I doubt it.
"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here (points to head) and here (points to heart) and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not."
he turned away from the woman that had once given him birth
and crying out to the sky cause he was lonely and scared
but only the devil responded, cause God wasn't there
and right then he knew what it was to be empty and cold
and so he jumped off the roof and died with no soul
they say death take you to a better place but I doubt it.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
back
I'm in the airport, waiting for my flight. As soon as I get home, it's gonna be a fuckfest of packing all my school shit since I leave in two days.
I've learned alot about Taiwan, it's culture, and of course, myself. I had a good time, for the most part. Just don't fuck with me when I'm sleep deprived.
I am also no longer vomit free since '93. It is a sad day.
I've never really been one to be homesick, but this trip, I found myself wanting to go home. Of course, this was when I was cranky and tired, but still. A chink in my armor?
I also realized how much I miss my family and friends.
I've learned alot about Taiwan, it's culture, and of course, myself. I had a good time, for the most part. Just don't fuck with me when I'm sleep deprived.
I am also no longer vomit free since '93. It is a sad day.
I've never really been one to be homesick, but this trip, I found myself wanting to go home. Of course, this was when I was cranky and tired, but still. A chink in my armor?
I also realized how much I miss my family and friends.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Censorship
So my parents aren't too happy about me using profanity in my Taiwan blog. My dad even sent me an email about it, to which I replied "What's so bad about these "bad" words anyways?"
To which he replied a long email which didn't quite answer the question..but anyways.
I feel like alot of the time, we're just being dragged around by society's expectations/customs that when you think about them, don't really have any rational reason behind them. Such as the taboo on four-letter words.
Why are these words "bad"? They express everyday activities/objects. Vaginas, bowel movements, having sex. These words aren't bad by nature--it's because society represses these things that they make words that don't describe them in either artistic or scientific terms taboo.
I'm not arguing for racial slurs--these words have a derogatory history behind them, with intent to insult/harm/degrade/oppress.
But what the fuck, shitting and cunts are everywhere.
To which he replied a long email which didn't quite answer the question..but anyways.
I feel like alot of the time, we're just being dragged around by society's expectations/customs that when you think about them, don't really have any rational reason behind them. Such as the taboo on four-letter words.
Why are these words "bad"? They express everyday activities/objects. Vaginas, bowel movements, having sex. These words aren't bad by nature--it's because society represses these things that they make words that don't describe them in either artistic or scientific terms taboo.
I'm not arguing for racial slurs--these words have a derogatory history behind them, with intent to insult/harm/degrade/oppress.
But what the fuck, shitting and cunts are everywhere.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
update!
I finally finished work for the summer. Five weeks of being an RA and doing grunt work for the scientists. Even though I worked for less time this year, I feel like I accomplished just as much, maybe even more. And I find myself missing the lab. I think I've come to love the structure and the daily routine, and my little cubicle.
But anyways.
I ship off to Taiwan next week for three weeks of discovering-my-roots and other fun activities. Blehhh. I think I'll be blogging everyday on a sister blog I've created especially for the trip:
---
So what have I been up to lately? Reading and examining my faith/religion/all religion with a more critical eye.
I read Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great; How Religion Poisons Everything. Not only is his style of writing engaging, witty, and just fucking awesome, he makes excellent arguments against all religions. I loved the book, and I feel that it gave me a more critical and careful way to scrutinize my faith and what I believe in.
Recently, I heard about a lawsuit being filed against a church. Based on what I heard, there seems to be a point in time when smart people started drinking the Kool-Aid of blind faith and gave up their rationality. (Which, if you think about it, isn't that a crime against God? If God or whoever is out there gave you this awesome tool of reasoning and rational thought, and you just throw it away...then two questions arise. A)what's the point of having reasoning and b) is a god who gives you a gift then demands you throw it away to believe in him whole-heartedly really worth following?)
But anways. Here's a question:
If you were to hypothetically design a building (let's add that you're a Christian, which actually should have no bearing whatsoever on your decision anyways, but let's stick with it), who would you choose:
a) Christian architect with no credentials/qualifications at all (so I suppose you could say "being Christian" is the only qualification)
But anyways.
I ship off to Taiwan next week for three weeks of discovering-my-roots and other fun activities. Blehhh. I think I'll be blogging everyday on a sister blog I've created especially for the trip:
---
So what have I been up to lately? Reading and examining my faith/religion/all religion with a more critical eye.
I read Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great; How Religion Poisons Everything. Not only is his style of writing engaging, witty, and just fucking awesome, he makes excellent arguments against all religions. I loved the book, and I feel that it gave me a more critical and careful way to scrutinize my faith and what I believe in.
Recently, I heard about a lawsuit being filed against a church. Based on what I heard, there seems to be a point in time when smart people started drinking the Kool-Aid of blind faith and gave up their rationality. (Which, if you think about it, isn't that a crime against God? If God or whoever is out there gave you this awesome tool of reasoning and rational thought, and you just throw it away...then two questions arise. A)what's the point of having reasoning and b) is a god who gives you a gift then demands you throw it away to believe in him whole-heartedly really worth following?)
But anways. Here's a question:
If you were to hypothetically design a building (let's add that you're a Christian, which actually should have no bearing whatsoever on your decision anyways, but let's stick with it), who would you choose:
a) Christian architect with no credentials/qualifications at all (so I suppose you could say "being Christian" is the only qualification)
or
b) non-Christian architect who's built many other edifices, has references, a portfolio.
The choice should be clear, unless you are of an abnormally low IQ (which apparently is a communicable disease spread by religious favoritism). You choose the qualified non-Christian who knows to how design a building.
---
A key aspect of what one might call the Christian experience is prayer. It allows you to communicate with him, and as a I recently learned (and this actually makes sense) it allows you to demand of God what he promised. Prayer is supposed to be a part of everyday life and you should pray about everything and make sure whatever you do, God is okay with it. Or if you're unsure, ask him via prayer. Etc.
So yes, very good. Prayer. It's story time, kids. Gather 'round.
A church wanted to build a new church buildling. As you would expect, the elders of the church would definitely pray for great amounts of time to ascertain God's will before going forth with building plans. It would be the Christian thing to do. And of course, they got the answer "Go forth and build me a huge fucking church building."
And so the elders commissioned architects and designers to build. And a church building was erected, greater and bigger than before.
And when the first storms came, the roofing leaked and the cafeteria flooded. But it must have been God's will for this to happen.
And a year later, the church was sued by one of the architects initially approached to do the design work. Come, let's say it together: "but it must have been God's will for this to happen."
Moral of the story, kids:
No. It wasn't God's will for this to happen.
It was human stupidity and lack of rational decision making. It was shoddy human construction.
Anything people construe as divine will is always after the fact. Hindsight bias, anyone?
I don't mean this post to be criticizing or hateful, or derogatory towards anyone. I just feel that when we give up reason in favor of faith, it's stupid.
Not to say that reason and faith can't go hand in hand. But that's a post for later.
The choice should be clear, unless you are of an abnormally low IQ (which apparently is a communicable disease spread by religious favoritism). You choose the qualified non-Christian who knows to how design a building.
---
A key aspect of what one might call the Christian experience is prayer. It allows you to communicate with him, and as a I recently learned (and this actually makes sense) it allows you to demand of God what he promised. Prayer is supposed to be a part of everyday life and you should pray about everything and make sure whatever you do, God is okay with it. Or if you're unsure, ask him via prayer. Etc.
So yes, very good. Prayer. It's story time, kids. Gather 'round.
A church wanted to build a new church buildling. As you would expect, the elders of the church would definitely pray for great amounts of time to ascertain God's will before going forth with building plans. It would be the Christian thing to do. And of course, they got the answer "Go forth and build me a huge fucking church building."
And so the elders commissioned architects and designers to build. And a church building was erected, greater and bigger than before.
And when the first storms came, the roofing leaked and the cafeteria flooded. But it must have been God's will for this to happen.
And a year later, the church was sued by one of the architects initially approached to do the design work. Come, let's say it together: "but it must have been God's will for this to happen."
Moral of the story, kids:
No. It wasn't God's will for this to happen.
It was human stupidity and lack of rational decision making. It was shoddy human construction.
Anything people construe as divine will is always after the fact. Hindsight bias, anyone?
I don't mean this post to be criticizing or hateful, or derogatory towards anyone. I just feel that when we give up reason in favor of faith, it's stupid.
Not to say that reason and faith can't go hand in hand. But that's a post for later.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Ambition
If a man holds no ambition, he suffers unknowingly.
If a man holds ambitions, he suffers knowingly, but very slowly.
If a man holds ambitions, he suffers knowingly, but very slowly.
Friday, May 21, 2010
end of finals
In about 12 hours, I will be officially done with sophomore year. It's been a rocky road, and I've come to realize that except for brief moments of time, I'm mostly miserable at this great institution of knowledge. Very few things at this place make me happy. But at the same time, I've learned alot.
Things I've done/learned/experienced this year:
1) Been awesome.
2) Met someone awesome :)
3) Went ice skating.
4) Booty-gyrated.
5) Went to Filthy Gorgeous.
6) Got into Operation DEEP, and am going to Tibet this summer!
7) Worked at an elementary school and loved the kindergartners.
8) Decided to never teach kindergarten (if I become a teacher.)
9) Been awesome.
10) Went to a hip-hop showcase.
11) Came to know a bunch of really fun people I normally would never have hung out with.
12) Being a hipster is fun.
13) Being a drunk hipster and losing your accessories (which, by the way, are borrowed) is not as fun.
14) Waking Life is one freaky film. Mind-blowing (especially if you're on illegal substances) but..freaky.
15) Went to a marching band party.
16) Threw a glass bottle into the gorge and then ran because I thought the cops were coming.
17) I am addicted to BJJ/grappling.
18) Question everything, and think beyond limits set by tradition/upbringing/religion.
19) I hate social psychology.
20) Psychology has taken over my life (I find myself constantly questioning if I'm committing ____ bias/fallacy/error. I can't even take a piss without wondering about social facilitation. It sucks.)
21) Confidence is sexy.
22) Stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
23) The normless thesis-- bad is the norm, good is the exception.
24) I hate Cornell.
25) Some people at Cornell are fucking stupid.
26) Learned to rap. In Chinese.
27) Got a 69 on my Chinese final.
28) I'm awesome.
29) White pants.
30) I have some kind of attention deficit disorder.
31) I hate my laptop.
32) If your penis says one thing and your brain says another...listen to your brain. Sometimes.
33) Friends don't let drunk friends throw butterfly knives.
34) Cried.
35) Went to a bar.
36) Actually made friends in one of my classes (gasp.)
37) Signed a lease for an apartment next semester.
38) Got hit in the testicles.
39) Went to a formal.
40) Learned just how awesome Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Yugioh Abridged, and The Emperor's New Groove is.
41) I have arthritic symptoms in my left knee.
42) Apologized profusely.
43) Assaulted someone.
44) Pooped. Furiously.
45) Picked up bad habits.
46) Lost good habits.
47) Apple bong.
48) O'd.
49) Chinese doctors routinely harvest organs from prisoners and Falun Gong practitioners without consent.
50) Bubble tea is delicious.
51) Too much BJJ = neck gets too thick = cannot button collar on dress shirt
52) Got ripped.
53) Got fat.
54) Salvia.
55) I hate doing psychology research.
56) Math professor with ridiculously thick accent.
57) Lived on a rotisserie chicken for four days.
58) Been awesome.
59) Had sushi.
...to be continued.
Things I've done/learned/experienced this year:
1) Been awesome.
2) Met someone awesome :)
3) Went ice skating.
4) Booty-gyrated.
5) Went to Filthy Gorgeous.
6) Got into Operation DEEP, and am going to Tibet this summer!
7) Worked at an elementary school and loved the kindergartners.
8) Decided to never teach kindergarten (if I become a teacher.)
9) Been awesome.
10) Went to a hip-hop showcase.
11) Came to know a bunch of really fun people I normally would never have hung out with.
12) Being a hipster is fun.
13) Being a drunk hipster and losing your accessories (which, by the way, are borrowed) is not as fun.
14) Waking Life is one freaky film. Mind-blowing (especially if you're on illegal substances) but..freaky.
15) Went to a marching band party.
16) Threw a glass bottle into the gorge and then ran because I thought the cops were coming.
17) I am addicted to BJJ/grappling.
18) Question everything, and think beyond limits set by tradition/upbringing/religion.
19) I hate social psychology.
20) Psychology has taken over my life (I find myself constantly questioning if I'm committing ____ bias/fallacy/error. I can't even take a piss without wondering about social facilitation. It sucks.)
21) Confidence is sexy.
22) Stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
23) The normless thesis-- bad is the norm, good is the exception.
24) I hate Cornell.
25) Some people at Cornell are fucking stupid.
26) Learned to rap. In Chinese.
27) Got a 69 on my Chinese final.
28) I'm awesome.
29) White pants.
30) I have some kind of attention deficit disorder.
31) I hate my laptop.
32) If your penis says one thing and your brain says another...listen to your brain. Sometimes.
33) Friends don't let drunk friends throw butterfly knives.
34) Cried.
35) Went to a bar.
36) Actually made friends in one of my classes (gasp.)
37) Signed a lease for an apartment next semester.
38) Got hit in the testicles.
39) Went to a formal.
40) Learned just how awesome Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Yugioh Abridged, and The Emperor's New Groove is.
41) I have arthritic symptoms in my left knee.
42) Apologized profusely.
43) Assaulted someone.
44) Pooped. Furiously.
45) Picked up bad habits.
46) Lost good habits.
47) Apple bong.
48) O'd.
49) Chinese doctors routinely harvest organs from prisoners and Falun Gong practitioners without consent.
50) Bubble tea is delicious.
51) Too much BJJ = neck gets too thick = cannot button collar on dress shirt
52) Got ripped.
53) Got fat.
54) Salvia.
55) I hate doing psychology research.
56) Math professor with ridiculously thick accent.
57) Lived on a rotisserie chicken for four days.
58) Been awesome.
59) Had sushi.
...to be continued.
Friday, May 14, 2010
summer.
I'm avoiding studying so...here's my summer plans!
May- Get out of school, get my shit unpacked at home, maybe go to Six Flags?
June- My dad wants to send me to visit Taiwan for a bit. Maybe see the World Expo in Shanghai?
July- If I do go to Taiwan/Shanghai/Beijing, go directly to Chengdu --> Tibet right after?
August- Come back from Tibet, go to school right after.
So I'm going to be teaching English in Tibet! Pretty exciting :)
May- Get out of school, get my shit unpacked at home, maybe go to Six Flags?
June- My dad wants to send me to visit Taiwan for a bit. Maybe see the World Expo in Shanghai?
July- If I do go to Taiwan/Shanghai/Beijing, go directly to Chengdu --> Tibet right after?
August- Come back from Tibet, go to school right after.
So I'm going to be teaching English in Tibet! Pretty exciting :)
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